When a hot-blooded Mexican with the unlikely name of Garcia Hotspur finds his girlfriend hanging from a noose, his bad day's just beginning. See, Paula just bought herself a trip to Hell, where a pervy six-eyed demon lord plans to make her his concubine for all eternity. Our tattooed friend slips into his favorite purple leather jacket, grabs his flaming-skull-on-a-stick sidekick, and heads off on an eight-hour rampage through the grisly burrows of the damned.
The first hour or so is awkward. Jokes don't quite land, and Garcia seems more a hollow caricature than an appealing action hero. But once Shadows of the Damned has introduced you to basics like switching weapons and guzzling health-restoring liquor, the whole shebang picks up steam in a hurry. How much you giggle depends on your appetite for scatological references and sexual innuendo. Childish crotch gags and horses that lay supernatural street-apples won't amuse everyone, but with nearly every chapter introducing some bizarre new creature or power-up, you certainly won't be bored.
That's a little surprising, since half the game involves gathering keys and stalking around visually striking but simplistically linear environments. Okay, so you collect brains, eyeballs, and strawberries instead of carved metal, then cram them into squalling infant faces instead of locks. Big whoop. Though it's enjoyable enough, and the oddball trappings make for a serviceable disguise, it all remains a shade too familiar. Only near the intense finale will you run into interesting puzzles that require you to lob explosive skulls at targets behind unbreakable barriers, or even twist chunks of the world into place.
Shadows' combat, on the other hand, is a fluid and darkly beautiful display of vivid carnage. Switching between weapons could be more responsive, and you'll take damage every great now and then because the camera decided something riveting was happening on the ceiling. But everything else about blasting a gruesome collection of emaciated minions just feels right. Smooth thumbstick targeting, 180-degree spins, and the ability to elbow anyone behind you in the kisser make you feel like a complete badass even when you're surrounded and near death.
You get only three weapons - the Boner pistol, a shotgun, and a machinegun that shoots teeth - but a steady stream of nutty upgrades keeps each feeling brand-new. Tag armored opponents with explosive balls of sticky goop, fill the air with locked-on bullets from a hilariously nonsensical bouquet of gun barrels, and reduce anyone who gets in your face to crimson mush. You'll find and purchase dozens of red upgrade gems on your journey, too, and use them to increase damage, boost ammo capacity, and reduce reload speed.
Hell is more than just some glorified shooting gallery, though. True to its title, Shadows' masterstroke is its use of darkness as a hostile living substance. This suffocating ether slows you to a crawl, while granting enemies a glistening armored coating that only special "light shots" can banish. Instead of merely swiveling between targets, you'll have to light and defend lamps fashioned from ever-chewing goat heads, partner with creeping bioluminescent slugs, and exploit the temporary safety of fireworks stations. It's not just a matter of keeping fires lit, either, because some targets are vulnerable only when you're enveloped in darkness.
As tense and exciting as the more crowded encounters are, the real high points of Shadows of the Damned belong to the bosses. They're not the most challenging contenders, and popping glowing weak spots doesn't exactly scream innovation. But figuring out how to tear a horse-headed behemoth, a foul-mouthed phoenix, and even Death himself to pieces is great fun, and plentiful checkpoints minimize frustration and repetition.
Shadows of the Damned saddles itself with too much fetch-the-widget downtime to be the wholly unpredictable thrill-ride it aspires to be, but it is stuffed full of boisterous personality and pulse-pounding bloodshed. With any luck, this is just the beginning of Garcia Hotspur's legend.
+ Excellent basic combat; fun boss battles; constant weapon upgrades.
+ Looks and sounds great; humorous tone nicely complements the grim atmosphere.
- Hunting keys along linear paths dulls the novelty of exploring hell; starts off slow.
? How many ghastly deaths does poor Paula have to suffer?
Count 333
April 25, 2012 at 9:50pm
I've been looking at screenshots and reading about the game for months now and only after reading your review do I feel that I might actually purchase this on Xbox LIVE. It does seem a little steep at the current $29.99 price though for a game that doesn't even let you try a demo to be sure you are going to be happy with the product after purchasing. That itself is an issue I have with Xbox LIVE. There should be a demo for EVERY single game in games on demand. I could rent some of the games before purchasing them but unfortunately Blockbuster video doesn't always carry the lesser known titles and I don't want to get a gamefly account and pay a monthly fee just to try out games that could easily have a downloadable demo in the marketplace. More game companies should do it. I'm betting sales will go up for the lesser known titles if they make this very small change. Most people I know, including myself, won't download most games if we can't try them out first. Because let's face it, it may look good in trailers or screenshots but after purchasing it through the marketplace and finding out it sucks, you just lost your hard earned cash because there is no way to get a refund on something that's on your harddrive. Hopefully in the next generation of consoles they will have some sort of policy to allow you to try the game before realising you got screwed or at least like I said above, just put up a damn demo. There I go again on one of my rants when originally all I wanted to do was thank you for your review lol. Anyways, Thanks! =D
