What’s scary about Self-Defense Training Camp is not what it suggests about all the ways you can get attacked, but that it implies you can easily learn how to break free of any hold without any proper feedback, practice, or, you know, another person there.

The problems with Self-Defense’s painfully simplified mindset crop up right away and never leave: the drills are fanatically obsessed with zeroing in on sensitive spots (in particular, the groin); your “attacker” is about your height and build; and (as a result of the height/build issue) you’re always guaranteed the correct position to hit your foe where it hurts. Add in sluggish response times and extremely forgiving Kinect tracking, and these lessons are less than helpful — in fact, they seem downright misleading.

The additional modes — Cardio Workout, Balance Practice, and Reflex Training — do their stated jobs much more accurately than the Self-Defense Rehearsal drills, but not nearly well enough to match, say, Your Shape: Fitness Evolved. Avoid this game like a darkened alley.

PUBLISHER: Ubisoft  •  DEVELOPER: AMA Studios  •  ESRB: Teen  •  MULTIPLAYER: None  •  ACHIEVEMENTS: Uncomfortably easy  •  COST: $50

On Xbox 360 (Kinect Required)

– Sluggish response times during drills; you can fake the movement needed to progress through lessons.

– Game has a weird preoccupation with going for the groin.

– The additional modes sport poor Kinect tracking and bland content.

? Seriously, who thought this subject matter would make a good videogame?

3.5