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"Damn right I'm extended."

ANNOUNCED Free downloadable content for Mass Effect 3 that will secure Internet peace for an entire generation, did BioWare. OK, so odds are people will still whine and moan, but nevertheless, the Canadian role-playing game-makers will release free DLC this summer dubbed Mass Effect 3: Extended Cut, which promises to strike “a good balance in delivering the answers players are looking for while maintaining the team’s artistic vision for the end of this story arc in the Mass Effect universe” by adding additional scenes to the game's endings, according to BioWare co-founder Dr. Ray Muzyka. Our guess? This won't end well, because BioWare opened Pandora's Box. And you don't want to know what's in the box.

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Zelnick even looks like the kind of guy who would stuff THQ in a locker and take their lunch money.

IGNITING A flame war between megapublishers Take-Two and THQ is Take-Two CEO Strauss Zelnick, who told MIT Business in Gaming conference attendees, “THQ has had some good games, but their quality levels aren't even remotely... the quality hasn't measured up.” Then, to combo his roundhouse kick with a Dragon Punch, he added, “THQ won’t be around in six months.” Naturally, the financially strapped publisher of such gems as Saints Row: The Third and Dawn of War wasn't going to take this attack lying down. “[Zelnick's] comments are irresponsible and false,” the company said in a statement. “Perhaps he would be better off commenting on his own business.” And with that, the gloves have come off. We can't wait until 3pm when the bell rings and these two square off behind the gymnasium.

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An "artist's" rendition of EA's new logo.

VOTED The Consumerist's worst company in America in an online reader poll was Electronic Arts, who beat out the likes of oil companies, Wall Street firms, and recent Rolling Stone exposé-subject Bank of America to grab the “honor.” Motivated gamers made sure that it wasn't even a contest, with EA (with 64% of votes) besting BofA (with 36% of votes) by an incredible 28%. You told 'em, fans. Sure, you might get foreclosed on, but at least you can rest easy in the house you no longer own knowing that true evil — you know, the company that unleashes the scourge of a videogame football simulation upon the world every August — has been branded and scorned. But let's not argue about it.