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Concept art by Ron Gilbert, dialogue by OXM.

PLUGGING Along on his new game at Double Fine is Monkey Island creator Ron Gilbert, who recently released the first concept art from the project. The revered adventure gaming legend signed up with former LucasArts co-worker Tim Schafer last year to collaborate on the idea, which Gilbert says “has been in my head for a long, long, long time. It predates Maniac Mansion and Monkey Island. It’s a game that needed to be made.” For those of you not familiar with Gilbert, Schafer, or Monkey Island and thus don’t understand why this is a big deal, Gilbert and Schafer are like the videogame designer equivalent of Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. Or, for our younger readers, LeBron James and Dwyane Wade. Except that Gilbert and Schafer have actually won something (like Game of the Year awards).

It's practically an ATM...except Microsoft takes out the money YOU put into it.

ENJOYED Its biggest sales week ever during the Black Friday extravaganza did the Xbox 360, as approximately 960,000 consoles were sold during the big shopping week, with 800,000 of those moving on Black Friday alone. Combined standalone and bundle sales of Kinect, meanwhile, were an almost-equally-staggering 750,000 for the week. They were so in demand that people were actually pepper-spraying their fellow shoppers to get to them in stores. Sadly, Microsoft executives declined to comment for this story, as they were too busy swimming around in their giant vault filled with gold coins.

"Huh huh, huh huh huh...I said 'whore.'"

REVEALED The name of his new game, did former Team Bondi studio head and L.A. Noire director Brendan McNamara. It will be called (ahem) Whore of the Orient, and apparently it refers to the city of Shanghai, and not, as you might’ve thought, to [joke censored by the Human Resources department]. We’d guess it’ll be an action-adventure game similar in gameplay style to Noire, but then again, we’d have guessed that Team Bondi would’ve stayed open after Noire sold four million copies worldwide. Anyway, we look forward to Whore’s inevitable name change. Friendly Woman of the Orient, maybe?

Randy Marsh sums up how we're feeling about this announcement perfectly. 

ANNOUNCED By publisher THQ was South Park: The Game. OK, so far your eyes have probably rolled into the back of your head, right? What if we told you that it’s a full-blown role-playing game? And that series creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are writing, directing, and voicing it? Are your pants tightening yet? Here’s the kicker: it’s being developed by premier RPG studio Obsidian Entertainment, makers of Star Wars: KOTOR II and Fallout: New Vegas. The only way this could be better is if it were being done in Flash-style 2D, just like the show…Wait, it probably is? We’d like to cryogenically freeze ourselves until this game comes out, please.