“Energy drink” used to mean “coffee.” Now it’s a euphemism for “high-caffeine soft drink brimming with various types of sugars, weird ingredients like taurine and guarana, and occasionally, a few useful vitamins.” Every so often, Dan (the Connoisseur) and Corey (the Junkie) will hold an informal, simultaneous taste-test in their search for the perfect power beverage — it’s their Energy Quest. It’s not scientific, but it is honest. And it might be extreeeeeeeeeeme.

Liquid Blow
16-ounce can
http://popsoda.com/liblpopop.html

Dan “The Connoisseur” Amrich

Describe the flavor: It’s described as “citrus/berry/guarana.” I’d call it liquid chalk, especially after looking at the milky, opaque white color. It’s one of those drinks that tastes sugar-free to me even though it isn’t. The flavor is…nothing.

“The Jitters”: Yes. I felt a kick quickly and babbled through our weekly podcast recording like a frightened hamster. I was tweaky.

Focus & alertness: Increased but with side effects. See above.

Comments from the peanut gallery: “Is that the same stuff as that Cocaine drink you did a while back?”

Stank breath: Yep. And a nasty aftertaste.

Packaging sex appeal: Red, white, black, and silver is always a good bet. They’re macho, cool colors, and it’s worked for Coke for years! Plus the explosion behind the name, well, pops.

How hard did you crash?: Not as hard as I thought I would. It kept me powered for several hours.

Other comments: Who makes this drink? What’s in it? I couldn’t find a promotional site for the stuff (the URL on the can didn’t work), nor could we figure out how much caffeine is in the mix. I guess the company that makes Liquid Blow (the catchily named Original Canned Goods) is so busy keeping that stuff secret that they forgot to make this taste good.

The Verdict: 3.0 (out of 10)

Corey “The Junkie” Cohen

Describe the flavor: Tart-sweet; think 7-Up or Fresca with lots more sugar and a hint of raspberry or strawberry.

“The Jitters”: The first time I drank it, I got the strangest sensation — a sort of tingling behind my eyes. (Was it jitters? Twitters? Whatever it was, it was weird.) The next time, it was more of an overall buzzy feeling. Weak stuff, this ain’t!

Focus & alertness: "Liquid Blow" is right — it’s like a mild blow to the brain that jolts you awake. I definitely felt ramped-up after downing this oddly colored cocktail.

Comments from the peanut gallery: Ryan just sort of smirked when he saw me sipping it. Then again, that’s how he reacts to most e-drinks. He doesn't get the Cult of Caffeine.

Stank breath: Not bad — though I feel like if I breathe on something, I’ll look down and see condensed sugar crystals.

Packaging sex appeal: The big logo and bold-red can are attention-grabbing without being annoying. I did sorta chuckle at all the big type — “HEAVILY CARBONATED”; HYPER CAFFEINATED”; “POWER POP” — but found it endearing, too.

How hard did you crash?: Mild crash. It didn’t sink my boat so much as tip it, but I got back on course pretty fast.

Other comments: “Power pop” sums this up pretty well: it’s an energy drink that tastes like a soft drink, with no taurine tang or obnoxious odor. When I heard the name “Liquid Blow,” I steeled myself for another Cocaine-type debacle; thankfully, this stuff tastes much better and is strong-but-not-overly-strong. It’s not top-tier, but would I drink it again? Sure.

The Verdict: 6.5 (out of 10)