“Energy drink” used to mean “coffee.” Now it’s a euphemism for “high-caffeine soft drink brimming with various types of sugars, weird ingredients like taurine and guarana, and occasionally, a few useful vitamins.” Every so often, Dan (the Connoisseur) and Corey (the Junkie) will hold an informal, simultaneous taste-test in their search for the perfect power beverage — it’s their Energy Quest. It’s not scientific, but it is honest. And it might be extreeeeeeeeeeme.

Jolt Power Cola
23.5-ounce can
www.joltenergy.com

 
Corey "The Junkie" Cohen

Describe the flavor: Fans of regular Coke will appreciate the sweet, carbonated goodness. It’s surprisingly devoid of taurine tang, and easy to guzzle: I pounded my 23-ouncer like a soda junkie devouring a 7-11 Big Gulp, mainly because I liked the taste so much.

“The Jitters”: Jolt — what a perfect name. The buzz crept up on me slowly, steadily, until POW! — I could feel my heart racing. Thankfully, these ginormous jitters subsided in around 10 minutes.

Focus & alertness: Once my pulse calmed a bit, I was loving the feeling of rock-solid wakefulness that Jolt gave me. It was a big, energizing boost that lasted for hours; even after a few beers (Happy Hour arrived a couple of hours after the Jolt-ening), I was still a bit pumped.

Negative impact on co-workers: For once, I think they’re kind of envious — of the can. There’s much love for how it looks.

Stank breath: Standard Coke breath — nothing of note.

Packaging sex appeal: The Jolt can is hands-down the coolest energy-drink container we’ve seen. The JOLT logo is super-striking, and the can itself — a twisty-top design that some other jumbo-size e-drinks seem to have recently adopted — is cleverly designed to look like a giant battery, complete with a + sign on the top cap. Bravo.

How hard did you crash?: Had a little crash, but much less than I’d have expected given the blammo effect this drink had on me.

Other comments: I’m a little shocked — in a good way — at how much I like this stuff. Maybe you, too, remember Jolt from the Eighties, when the little upstart Coke clone debuted with the slogan “All the sugar and twice the caffeine.” I never really appreciated it back then, but I’m loving this new Jolt Power Cola, even though it may be too strong. One 23.5-ounce container has 280mg of caffeine — compared to 160mg in a can of Monster or Rockstar — so you may want to drink just part of a Jolt (the Servings Per Container is 3) or reserve it for when you REALLY need refueling.

The Verdict: 9.0 (out of 10)

Dan “The Connoisseur” Amrich

Describe the flavor: Cola! It’s so common in other soft drinks that in the energy space, it’s completely different. Tastes sweet, more on par with Pepsi than Coke, and the carbonation is surprisingly low.

“The Jitters”: I did have some. I wasn’t expecting it — maybe it was the low carbonation that made me think this wouldn’t be too powerful, but it sure was.

Focus & alertness: The rush was slow in coming; I was about a third of the way through this enormous can before I started to feel a buzz. And then it just kept building and building. I was ON by the second third.

Negative impact on co-workers: They just asked “Why is your energy drink brown?”

Stank breath: A little nasty — it’s cola but it’s powered-up with ginseng and taurine and all the other standard energy-drink ingredients.

Packaging sex appeal: Best can ever. Not kidding — the giant battery motif  and lightning bolts on a product called Jolt is pure marketing brilliance.

How hard did you crash?: A normal crash. Felt it, but it didn’t wipe me out. But there was a coming-down moment.

Other comments: I remember Jolt from my younger days — the Quik Chek convenience store was the only place that stocked it, and I remember drinking it for the buzz more than the taste, which I didn’t like as much as other colas. Maybe it’s the change in formula, or maybe my tastes have changed, but I enjoyed this for the taste more than I used to…as long as I sipped it. New look, new market, new Jolt — but it’s still enough of the old Jolt to warm the cockles of my palpitating heart.

The Verdict: 8.0 (out of 10)

Got an energy drink you want reviewed? Contact Dan!