Dynasty Warriors games tend to strike the same nerve as Earth Defense Force 2017 and Deadly Premonition — they magically straddle the line between bad and campy, and an unquantifiable something makes them irresistible. Goofy originality cements EDF and DP as defensible guilty pleasures, but Dynasty Warriors 7 is a shameful secret you’d kill to keep.

With equal steps forward and back, DW7 remains alarmingly similar to the series’ previous chapters, with bland tap-tap-hold combat replacing DW6’s rewarding Renbu system. The “original ideas” in Dynasty Warriors 7— action-game standards such as upgrading, unlocking, and switching between new weapons — are welcome, but they’re not exactly new, and they really should’ve been implemented much earlier in the series. Why these additions are so straightforward and limited is yet another mystery.

DW7’s most significant strides come from its varying campaign structure. We dug rotating between playable characters in a kingdom’s storyline, rather than playing individual stories — it’s fun to mix it up with each character’s different weapons and special attacks. And Conquest mode is where we really fell for DW7 — if only because we could expand our empire through online co-op play.

Granted, even with a friend in tow, the missions all feel the same — which rings true of DW7 as a whole. Racking up a body count in the thousands remains oddly addictive, but it’s best to regard the series’ latest offering as the videogame equivalent of junk food: a tasty indulgence that’s ultimately empty and fleeting.

On Xbox 360

+ Smacking, stabbing, and slaughtering thousands of chumps.

- Even its newest ideas are old.

- The usual: boring, repetitive gameplay.

? Is it too early to nominate its intro cinematic for Best/Craziest/Most Insane of 2011? It’s definitely a contender.

5.5