A Terminator, the lizard guy from Brute Force, and Duke Nukem walk into a bar…Consciously or not, the whopping 3.2GB download for this downloadable Duke Nukem Forever add-on creates a high expectation. For all of that bandwidth, this had better be good, we thought. So when Doctor picked up right after the events of the main game, with Duke strapped into a torture chair in a clever parody of Call of Duty: Black Ops, we were optimistic. Clearly, this expansion was made in 2011, and wasn’t — like the rest of the game — cobbled together between 1997 and 2010. Woefully, though, its design is still very much rooted in ’90s trappings we’ve long since evolved past.
One area, for instance, has you dodging annoying deadly lasers on a small moving platform. Another pits you against aliens in an oxygen-less atmosphere, requiring you to stand over “air bubbles” to survive. And the worst offender is a physics puzzle that asks you to manipulate a magnetic crane in a room full of metal boxes. (If you’re masochistic enough to want more Forever, here’s a tip: don’t overthink it like we did. Simply lift up the forklift and move it to the crane side of the room.)
Meanwhile, Forever’s graphics still won’t win any awards (really, who needs facial animations?), and the entire final area is marred by crackly audio in Dolby 5.1 mode. We enjoyed some of Duke’s fresh new dialogue, and though his Earth Defense Force buddy’s jokes are one-note profanities, he added life to the three- to four-hour solo experience.
Doctor also doles out four new multiplayer maps of decent variety, the most fun being the Vegas-set “Sky-High.” Judging from our sessions, though, few people are still playing Forever multiplayer, so bring your own friends.
Or better yet, don’t. We believe Duke still has at least one good game left in him, but regrettably, this DLC isn’t it.
PUBLISHER: 2K Games • DEVELOPER: Triptych Games • ESRB: Mature • MULTIPLAYER: 2–8 players online • ACHIEVEMENTS: A few new ones • COST: 800 Microsoft Points ($10)
+ Begins with a funny Call of Duty: Black Ops parody; new multiplayer maps aren't bad.
– New missions have atrocious, horrifically dated puzzles; finding multiplayer opponents isn’t easy.
– Entire final area plagued by crackly audio in Dolby mode.
? When will Gearbox take a shot at this franchise themselves?
