There’s just one golden rule when you’re playing Sega’s sassy, lightning-quick beat-’em-up: Don’t expect anything to make sense. In other words, don’t worry your pretty little head about how it’s possible that witchy Bayonetta’s entire outfit is completely constructed out of… hair. Also, don’t waste any time wondering how that follicle-tastic outfit can find a way to melt off her body and take the form of, say, a giant, fuzzy stiletto heel stomping on a gaggle of…angels. And don’t worry! Those aren’t really angels! Or at least that’s what Sega has been alluding to. Throw in a special stripperpole dance move that’s enabled by an angelic spear, and Bayonetta has officially won the 2009 WTF Award before it’s even released.

But push all that aside, because despite the game’s wackadoo scenarios, actually playing it feels fan-freakin’-tastic. No joke. Ultraresponsive even in this early state, Bayonetta allows for hardcore combo-attack strings as well as novice-style button-mashing. With punches, kicks, and shooting (remember, she has guns on her ankles!) assigned to three face buttons, you can mix them up as you see fit. But make sure that you leave room for any of Bayonetta’s myriad special attacks that flash onscreen when you’re ready to perform a finishing “Torture Attack” that can land your opponent in an Iron Maiden or deal other over-the-top death blows. After pressing the prompted Torture Attack buttons, you can follow up by spamming the button indicated onscreen to multiply the damage into the — we kid you not — “gigatons.”

With all this attacking, though, you might forget that one of the most important weapons in Bayonetta’s arsenal is her ability to dodge. Pull the right trigger to evade at the right time and you’ll enable a slow-mo effect called, what else, Witch Time. During this mode, the door swings open for you to put the deep hurting on, say, any of the game’s multitudinous screenfilling bosses.

With gameplay that’s satisfyingly crunchy, responsive, and just ridiculously over-the-top, Bayonetta wowed us with how well it handled, especially in an early build. Fake angels? Hairsuits? Walking on ceilings and walls using “moon power”? Hell, we don’t care if it’s got Esperanto-speaking chimpanzees playing Led Zeppelin in freakin’ outer space — we say, bring it on, Sega!