FaceBreaker

Remove the timid test jabs and manhugs from real-life boxing, pack every punch full of steroids, and triple the speed, and you’ll get something like FaceBreaker. EA’s newest arcade-sports franchise lets you slap your own leering mug on a walking side of beef and customize your shape, or choose from 12 likeably goofy caricatures that range from tubby nerd to voodoo priest — all as prelude to bashing faces into purple pulps.

Connect with high and low jabs and hooks to bank notches on a Breaker meter; block and counter with well-timed parries and dodges; then cash out with hilariously theatrical power attacks. The more punches you string together, the closer you get to a bout-ending Facebreaker, but catching a fist empties the meter. No attack or defense is unbeatable, so success hinges on reading your opponent’s moves quickly enough to counter them in simple rock-paper-scissors fashion. This can be a tall order given the intense breakneck pace, but practice is all it takes to become a contender. And really, the whole mechanic makes FaceBreaker feel more like a fighting game than a boxing match.

Unfortunately, the same simplicity of play that makes FaceBreaker instantly accessible also saps its longevity. The A.I. goons you fight adhere to their transparently canned sequences too strictly to be much fun after the opening hours. You’ll get ground into hamburger initially, but recognize a pattern and you’ll suddenly steamroll the chump in 20 seconds. Only occasionally does play find a balance between these extremes.

On the other hand, FaceBreaker delivers fast online brawls, and the constant back-and-forth of counters, stuns, and outrageous signature moves yields a surprising amount of room for strategy and style. As tiresome as solo scuffles become, exciting multiplayer bouts against unpredictable humans save FaceBreaker from a TKO.