Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3

Alternate history is a common thread in game plots, but with an asinine story like Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3’s, we’re willing to enjoy it without complaint. The crazy question at stake here: What would be the repercussions if time-travelling Soviets assassinated Albert Einstein?

The live-action cinematics that push this story along are just as ridiculous. Rife with exaggeratedly “serious” acting and cheesy self-aware dialogue, the cutscenes feature famous faces like Tim Curry, George Takei, and, uh, Jenny McCarthy as various characters for each of the three factions — Soviets, Allies, and Empire of the Rising Sun. Thankfully, the saturated art style of these short movies carries over to the real-time-strategy gameplay, where both cartoon-colored units and cyberpunk structures vibrantly pop in snowy city streets, lush green forests, and other environments all around the globe.

But what fun is a real-time strategy game if it’s got only a spiffy sci-fi concept and some purdy visuals? Red Alert 3 is the first console RTS that feels as though it was built around the control pad, not forced to work with it. The convenience of being able to build and command units from anywhere at any time with a pull of the right trigger keeps you and the combat moving at a speedy clip, while smaller touches like forming multiple custom squads and quickly snapping to your base/units go a long way toward effective commanding.

But don’t assume you’re just going to hop in and rock the Soviets’ world with a point and a click. Enemy A.I. is brainy, so you’ll need wits as well as brawn to rough up the opposition. Building an effective fighting force works for most of the campaign, but we recommend bringing a co-op partner along for the 27-mission ride to minimize frustration with tougher objectives and maximize the amount of awesome on the battlefield — which is unfathomable once you hear the intensity of the soundtrack. (Fortunately, you can set the difficulty for each mission individually.)

Red Alert 3 keeps getting better as you play. Developing strategies in competitive skirmishes is addictive, and being able to play with friends makes for great RTS-ing in the competitive online mode or two-player co-op campaign. And with an ace control scheme that should become the console standard, Red Alert 3 is easily the most kickass strategy game this side of Civilization Revolution. But hey — Civ doesn’t have ninjas and bear paratroopers…