The Scoreboard #8

Sega Superstars Tennis

Sega Superstars Tennis is simple fun and it dished out a serious amount of Achievements in a short amount of time. After an hour of play, though, it begins to follow the theme of the week. The first hundred points aren’t hard to rip out of Superstars, nor do they take particularly long to get, but anything afterwards will take a ton of time. Surpassing 200 points requires unlocking characters, completing challenges by the dozen, and playing tennis match after button-mashing tennis match. Hope you’ve got some free time.

Best Achievement – Thunderhead (20 pts.) "His brother was killed by Death Adder!" <blasphemy> Alright, listen. This Achievement has nothing to do with Gamerscore. There is absolutely no value to the points earned in completing this. It’s a matter of what is unlocked: Gilius Thunderhead, the obese dwarf Viking star of Golden Axe. There are eight extra characters to play as, each with 20 accompanying Gamerscore, but come on... he is a Viking playing tennis. That’s even better than the Viking from the last game. </blasphemy>

Worst Achievement – Swinging Report Show (30 pts.) Become a TV Superstar This is a BS descriptor; “Complete Luck” and “Lamest Achievement Ever” are more fitting titles. After an online match, you’ll need a random player (or a friend/ second Live profile) to watch highlights from your game. The problem is if your opponent’s name shows up instead of yours, you’ll be left starving for Gamerscore nourishment while they swim in the 30 point gain. That’s right: you can’t get the points unless your name shows up as the star of the two (or four!) player match. If you’re fortunate enough, some sucker will check out your clip. Kneel and pray.

Easiest Achievement (or, How the Heck Did We Get This Achievement?) – Cameo Appearance (20 pts.) Hit a Sega court cameo We honestly can’t explain how we got this, but it was literally the first ball hit in a match that garnered this 20 point jump. Play on a court with a lot of SEGA characters for maximum luck. 

Hardest Achievement – To be this good takes AGES (60 pts.) Complete all Challenges in all Sega games (Rank AAA) This is one of the few Achievements you’ll need to exert some kind of effort for, and the amount is so minimal it’s almost not even worth classifying as “hard”. Trial-and-error will always lead you to your goal, because the challenges are almost entirely based on identical patterns. Set aside a good chunk of your day checking off the huge amount of these things. Or don’t.

Time Investment vs. Payoff – 5 (out of 10) Sega Superstars Tennis comes out of the gate as an 11/10. It seems like every time you smash the tennis ball you’re unlocking something, but after the initial “Woohoo!” the Achievement unlocking slows to the pace of a limbless sloth. These aren’t what we’d call difficult, but make friends with your couch. Expect many an hour to be spent tappin’ “A”.

Overall – 6 (out of 10) Again, this is a game that requires time, not effort. You barely need to be sentient to tap the “swing racket” button, which is all it takes to gain most of these Achievement points. Most gamers don’t have the time for this, but if you’ve got a friend (or a child) looking to sink their teeth in to a game, they’ll add a decent amount of points to your bank.

PREV12345NEXT