The Scoreboard #13

Alone in the Dark

Despite the swing-and-a-miss execution in the gameplay department, Alone in the Dark is a grand slam when it comes to Achievements. As you trudge through the eight story missions (not skipping cinemas or chapters, mind you) the Gamerscore will rain down like it’s a stormy night in the Big Apple. Except it’s not raining because of something scientific like precipitation, rather, because some dude in Central Park is smashing vampire bats into fiery wrecks when he’s putting flaming bullets in to the undead.

Best Achievement: Nuke (25 pts.) Kill 3 Humanz at once. – There’s something special about three or more zombies (zombiez?) leaping at you in the air in slow motion as one of them practically swallows a flaming liquor bottle that explodes when shot, (in such a glorious manner that it deserves a symphony) turning the hippity-hoppity baddies into a flaming mass. You just don’t get that these days.

Worst Achievement: Handyman Carnby (30 pts.) Make all possible combinations in the inventory. – One of Alone in the Dark’s coolest features is the ability to open your jacket and concoct a number of various items, most of which boil down to “bottle that will explode”. There’s a ton of items in the game to mix and match, making it a pain in the neck to make every construction combination... It hurts to think about the available combos using a glass bottle, plastic bottle, tape, cloth, flare, glow stick and other items to fuse. It’s smart in the game, but in practice for earning Achievements – in case you didn’t know, that’s kind of what we care about in these cases – it’s preposterous. Happy item-hunting; keep a notepad handy.

Easiest Achievement: Too Many Too Count (Very Many pts.) Really, there are a lot of these things. – Alone in the Dark has some of the most incredibly easy-to-get Achievements ever. The only thing difficult about them is struggling with the gameplay, and since many are story based, you’ll unlock as you progress. Keep in mind that the “Unlock Achievement” button is Big Green, the trusty A button. Smash a window, press A. Steal a car, press A. Heal yourself, call dudes, pick up keys, make Molotov cocktails, press A!

Hardest Achievement: Cockpit Addict (20 pts.) Drive all the way down 59th street in Cockpit view. – It’s a tough enough task to complete this mission with the ability to see, but stripping away your periphery and rear end, it makes it nearly impossible to gauge your distance from pits, 90 degree turns, or the imminent death that is a crumbling NYC that lurks behind you at a far-from-tepid pace. At the end of the day though, it’s satisfying to have completed this mission, and by completing it in first person, you damn well better get some kind of reward. Even after 30 frustrating repeats, driving down 59th was a rewarding experience with one hell of a difficulty curve.

Time Investment vs. Payoff: 8 (out of ten) – Like a majority of this week’s games, Alone in the Dark is mercifully short. We’re not talking Wall●E-short, but your brief tenure in NYC will be rewarded with mad amounts of Gamerscore. Before you finish the last third, a reputable 500+ points will grace your Gamercard, so if you need a quick boost (and you’re patient with flawed execution on awesome new concepts) Atari’s latest adventure might be just the thing. It should be noted that we knocked off a point for the amount of time we spent awake and in our beds terrified of skinless zombie-folk who sought to claw our eyes out.

Overall: 9 (out of ten) – By simply completing the game, you’re bound to unlock over half of the available Gamerscore in Alone in the Dark. Gameplay problems aside, it’s a wild ride that hands out Achievements like they’re demon-cult candy, and if you never do any of the extra stuff – though it’s impossible not to do a ton of it as you progress – you’d still walk away overly satisfied after the eight episodes. This is great for a big boost that will send you back to the video store with a good 500+ Gamerscore jump.

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