OXM Message Center (August 2007)

CHILDREN OF THE SCORN
Why the heck do you have to slander us 12-year-olds? OXM is always referring to “some racist 12-year-old” or something like that. I’m very uncomfortable with you doing this. Some 12-year-olds, like me, are pretty well-behaved, with only the occasional “Dude, I just shot you from across the map!” FYI, OXM — some 12-year-olds are not evil.
–– Ethan Daniell

We say: We’d even say most 12-year-olds are not evil, Ethan. But most 12-year-olds are not as mature or devoted to fair play as you are; we’re betting you know of a few 12-year-olds who simply act their age or speak without thinking. What we’re really busting on is the lack of maturity and respect from the most vocal Xbox gamers, and not anyone’s chronological age. Frankly, we’ve heard some 24-year-olds and 36-year-olds on Live who behave with less class and respect than your average fifth-grader. Sad but true: Online, you’re really only as old as you act.

SECOND LAP
I like videogames — a lot. And I remember my Game Boy Color: portable, fun, and exciting. Then I remembered the Xbox 360 laptop that Ben Heckendorn made in an article in your Holiday 2006 issue. You guys said that there was an instructional section on his website to help me make my own. But I’m no I.T. guy – I’m 15. So I was wondering if Heckendorn makes and sells laptops to people like me. (I’m asking you because I couldn’t find any contact information at his website.)
—Daniel Cross

We say: Benjamin J. Heckendorn, unreachable? Never — he hit us back right away. “I’ve built two of those laptop mods, but I don’t plan to make anymore,” he explains. “It simply takes too long, requiring me to charge too much. However, I am running a how-to on the procedure for Engadget.com, so inquiring minds can find insight into the process there. This includes drawings and schematics for the case —
the very same ones I used! I also don’t repeat very many copies of projects because I’m always starting something new and different and like to ‘keep moving along.’” Ben also invites everybody to check out the family-friendly forums at benheck.com. And if he’s looking for another project, maybe the next letter will offer some inspiration...

FOLDED, SPINDLED, MUTILATED
Whatever happened to the portable Xbox, the Origami? Has any info been released recently? I think it’ll raise Xbox’s reputation in the console wars, since Nintendo has a wide variety of handhelds, including the DS, and Sony has the PSP. Microsoft needs its own portable system (not the Zune). Can the Rumor Mole dig up some info? Thanks.
— Aron Soleiman

We say: The Mole can give you the full details, but you may not like what you hear. Project Origami was the codename for the Ultra-Mobile PC (UMPC); with screens of seven inches or less, UMPCs — like the Samsung Q1 Ultra shown here — are much smaller than standard laptops, but they still run custom versions of PC operating systems like Windows XP and Vista. During the viral marketing campaign that unveiled the UMPC, one was shown running Halo. Can’t really blame anybody for leaping to the portable-Xbox conclusion, but it was a leap in the wrong direction all the same. UMPCs cost around $1,000, so even if one could be converted to run Xbox software...would you buy it?

CHROMEBLOODHOUNDS
Please, if you’re going to print these idiotic articles about Achievements (“Extrievements!” May 2007), at least make them a little more accurate. To get the Gold Sword Cross Achievement in Chromehounds, you must actually fulfill the Gold Wing medal requirements — No. 1 in average total fame for a given period. Average total fame is also known as renown per squad member, so the fewer members in a squad, the faster the average renown per member will go up after each match. Other factors, such as having squad members online often enough, make getting the medal with a larger squad impossible. Thus, the fastest and most efficient way of getting the medal is not by playing with a balanced team as the article suggests, but by playing alone in a one-person squad. It will still take a huge time investment (likely months) to reach the No. 1 spot, and you must then hold the top leaderboard position for 72 straight hours.
–– x626x TRAIN

We say: In addition to the gameplay tips, TRAIN and a chorus of Chromehounds players who visited our forum angrily accused the folks we interviewed for the “Extrievements!” article — IC3xM4N and Xx SHAMROCK xX — of cheating to get their Achievements. The proof? “Anyone who plays the game for a single day knows that these guys are among the greatest losers around,” says TRAIN. When we asked Xx Shamrock xX about those charges, he claimed innocence and called his accusers cheaters. Fellas? Thank you all for your varied strategy advice. Now go settle this on the Chromehounds battlefield like you’re supposed to and leave us out of it.

LEFT BEHIND
I’m left-handed. Lefties constantly get a raw deal when it comes to just about everything (not to mention that it costs us more for just about everything, too!). Up until now I think the game industry hasn’t affected lefties too much – left thumb works just as well as right thumb for FPS games, after all – but the advent of interactive games like Guitar Hero II poses a problem. Yes, you can “flip” the screen, but then you have an upside-down whammy bar on the X-Plorer, which changes the gaming experience.
    Lefties are a minority, but no different from ethnic groups — why are we pushed aside? No matter how you look at it, it’s unfair to the left-handed masses. A limited number of left-handed X-Plorer guitars could be made for lefties. I wouldn’t even mind paying an extra 10 bucks for the privilege! Do you know of any plans to actually do this?
— Rich Scales

We say: We feel the need to remind you that even Jimi Hendrix, a southpaw, played a right-handed guitar and made out okay in the long run. Still, you’ve got a point, and we asked senior PR specialist Bryan Lam at RedOctane about your rights as a lefty. “We greatly appreciate your feedback, and yes, creating a guitar for lefties is something we’ve definitely considered,” he responds. “While we do offer the lefty flip as an option, there are many factors to be considered before the start of production on a new guitar, such as cost for research, testing, lead time for development, design, and numerous other items. We haven’t ruled it out yet, so let’s cross our fingers in the meantime.” The upshot: you may be willing to pay extra, but RedOctane still needs to crunch some numbers.

QUIT PLAYING GAMES (WITH MY HEARTBREAKER)
I read an interview with Randy Pitchford from Gearbox Software in which he stated that all sci-fi games are basically stolen from the movie Aliens. It confirmed what I suspected all along: That the vast majority of developers, especially American, lack any real creative vision.
    It shouldn’t be that hard to come up with a theme or ideas that are different and original. Maybe if these companies start employing people who have an artistic vision instead of focusing all their efforts on physics and dull realism, we wouldn’t have a glut of games we’ve seen too many times before. Part of the problem may reside in the casual-gaming market, in that many games that do offer something different are overlooked for a dumbed-down product that the audience is more familiar with. If the industry continues to focus on those people as well, it’s their fault that a game like Okami [a PS2 action/adventure game from Capcom — Ed.] is considered a failure, when it could have been a success if they weren’t spreading the industry too thin.
    Obviously, this is a business. But it’s been shown in other areas of entertainment that when you focus too much on the business side, you end up with a ton of mediocre product that may appeal to people at first, but eventually makes them tune out in the hopes of something better. That’s why bands like Led Zeppelin will be around forever, while boy bands fall by the wayside. Hopefully the videogame industry will stop offering up the equivalent of the Backstreet Boys before it’s too late.
–– Erin Hoffman

We say: First, Randy’s comment should probably be taken in context: Gearbox is working on games based on the Aliens movie license. Are you sure he was saying what you heard?
That said, we’re not sure why you slam casual gaming in the name of originality, since Xbox Live Arcade offers pretty good proof that games can be casual yet refreshingly innovative — Cloning Clyde, Eets: Chowdown, and Boom Boom Rocket (among others) all bear that out. And even if you want to point to the cream of the crap, we don’t really think Totem Ball is to blame for the weak sales of the brilliant PS2 game Okami.
    Meanwhile, have you considered the XNA factor? All the fresh ideas you can handle, generated by anyone with inspiration and some skill. Sales don’t enter into
it – but they can and will as those ideas mature. The struggle between art and commerce in gaming (and any other popular entertainment medium) is eternal; did you have any specific ideas about how to strike that balance? It’s easy to drop in and accuse game developers of being “lazy” or uninspired, but it’s really what you do with your gaming dollar that will influence the next era of games.
What about the rest of you readers out there? Are developers slacking, or do you see a renaissance in the making? Give us some examples either way.

 
TWEAKING A TWEAK
Upon reading your article on how to change the face of your controller (“20-Minute Tweaks,” March 2007), I put on my thinking cap to see if I could come up with a simple solution for the “loose D-pad” issue.
After receiving my “Evolve” kit, I began to disassemble my controller. While putting everything together I noticed the problem immediately: the walls of the opening for the D-pad on the kit aren’t tall enough, so the fit isn’t as tight as it should be. Being a “gearhead,” I had some spare battery-terminal washers lying around. I used the small insert and placed it in-between the two parts of the D-pad. It works great and cost only $2 or so. You get two in a package, so if you want two controller faceplates, it works out perfect. It did for me!
— Dan Kline

We say: That’s some clever hackin’ there, Dan. Thanks for the tip! If anyone else wants to try Dan’s trick, just head to the auto-supply store and seek out the battery washers. They normally help prevent corrosion; in this capacity, they prevent pwnage. (Remember, though — doing this will void your hardware’s warranty.)