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Round 3

Game: ROCK BAND 2 
Rules: Tug of War, guitar on Hard, three songs chosen by mutual agreement 
Bet: $3 
Favored: Dan
Pre-game trash talk: “I know Corey copyedited the ‘OXM Guide to Fake Guitar’ feature last year — but did he notice that I wrote it?” — Dan

WINNER: DAN

Post-game analysis: Dan’s a real-life musician and he’s played more Rock Band than me; I knew I was screwed. I did come closer to him with each of the songs (“Man in the Box,” 97% to 89%; “You Oughta Know,” 98% to 92%; “YYZ,” 94% to 91% ); if we’d played 50 more, I might’ve beaten him! Grumpy from my loss (and still revved-up from playing Rush), I decided to monkey with the system a bit: I filled out a BringIt report saying that I won our Rock Band 2 match, not Dan. Because the site waits until the loser reports their loss (they wisely assume that someone wouldn’t lie about losing a match — only about winning one), I didn’t get a payout for my bogus claim of victory; instead, Dan reported his win and BringIt threw up a flag. Since our reports confl icted, the money riding on that match was frozen, and our case was referred to an administrator.

To their credit, BringIt’s customer service handled the dilemma pretty well: they promptly emailed Dan and I to note the dispute, and they asked us both for evidence that we’d won, such as a photograph of the screen. I was tempted to test them further by submitting a Photoshopped screenshot, but I figured my chances of fooling them were low, so I replied back that I had “accidentally” checked the wrong box and had actually lost the match. Problem solved; dignity semi-intact.

Round 4

Game: TIGER WOODS PGA TOUR 08 
Rules: Stroke play, front 9 on Pebble Beach. Both playing as Tiger Woods. 
Bet: $5 Favored: Even 
Pre-game trash talk: “We both suck. This is gonna be a train wreck.” — Dan

WINNER: DAN

Post-game analysis: Holy hell, what a disaster! Epic chokefest. After three neck-and-neck holes, I began missing putts, shooting into sandtraps, and blasting balls past the hole and into the ocean. Could it get any worse? Even Dan was a bit demoralized, despite stomping me 43–60 (!): “Paul shoots entire games with lower scores than this. We both lost that one.” As small as our bet was (a mere $5), I couldn’t help wondering if the thought of losing more money — in addition to losing another game — was too much pressure? At this point I felt like a gambler who’s stormed through a casino, blowing money on all the different games, with no recent victories to keep hope alive. Should I give this up and try something easier…like Bingo? Yeesh!

Round 5

Game: BURNOUT PARADISE 
Rules: Road Rage online, first to 3 wins 
Bet: $10 Favored: Even 
Pre-game trash talk: “This is it, Dan — for the big money. Comeback trail!” 

WINNER: COREY

Post game: YES! Both of us love Burnout, so it was bound to be close, but I pulled out the victory in head-to-head Road Rage matches (though we both felt that standard Races were better suited to betting). Thank god I won: I couldn’t bear to lose most of my remaining money to Dan. (Road rage is right!) Best of all, my final Takedown was a high-speed spectacular…and from his Vision-cam mugshot, I could tell I caught Dan off-guard. Awesome!

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